i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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