she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
