it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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