i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
