At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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