we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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