TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
