Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
