i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
