ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
