I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
