What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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