I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
