She's JV to your varsity
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
