I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
