My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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