Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
