I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize