Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize