a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
