"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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