We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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