P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
