just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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