no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
