I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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