sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize