Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
