I can text with my tongue
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize