All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
