There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize