you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
