Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So vagazzling was a success
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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