On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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