You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
