i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
