Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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