dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
