I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds