Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
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Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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