Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.