and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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