Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
