you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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