Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nicole vs. Life
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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