I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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