So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
