No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
