Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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