Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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