soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
