my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
