just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
