you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
